I dunno. Time keeps marching on and I keep struggling with what to say about the miserable things that have been happening.
I feel like I'm supposed to put a positive spin on everything.
Like, two minutes ago, it was the new year, and I was supposed to pretend that 2018 is going to be better than 2017, or something. But I've already played this game, back at the end of 2016. I knew it was baloney then and it was baloney two minutes ago.
I mean... don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for a lot of things right now. It's just also been a sad slog for a long time. And the silver lining, if you can call it that, is that I'm grateful even for the sad slog, because it means it's not all over yet. I spend so much time balanced on a razor's edge of knowing at any moment things will fall apart, and I'm glad as long as they haven't. But what a feeling.